ARE YOU THE DIGITAL MARKETING BAD ASS WE’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR?
(Think along the lines of: Growth Grinder, Conversion Carnivore, Viral Vanguard, ROI Reaper, Platform Predator)
Newsflash, lukewarm leads: We're not auditioning for a participation trophy. We need a MARKETING WARRIOR forged in the fires of real-world results, someone who doesn't just talk about growth, they MANIFEST IT WITH FEARSOME PRECISION.
Your Ironclad Mandate
PROVE. IT. You're not just telling us you can grow a company; you're showing us the scorched earth of your past successes. We need CONCRETE EVIDENCE of campaigns you've spearheaded that sent sales soaring, engagement exploding, and brand awareness into the stratosphere. Numbers, data, case studies – bring the receipts or GET. OUT.
SOCIAL MEDIA SAVAGE: You'll conquer Facebook, LinkedIn, and the TikTok thunderdome. Forget polite likes; we demand VIRAL VELOCITY. Your content will be the axe that shatters the scroll-stop and your strategies will turn fleeting attention into rabid fans.
CONTENT NECROMANCER: You'll breathe unholy life into blogs that convert, website designs that hypnotize, and visuals that burn themselves into the collective consciousness. Mediocrity is a curse, and you're here to EXORCISE IT WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE.
ADVERTISING ALCHEMIST: You'll transmute ad spend into pure gold across Facebook, LinkedIn, and TikTok. Weak ROI makes you physically ill. Your campaigns will be laser-focused, ruthlessly optimized, and will FORCE GROWTH LIKE A FREAKING HURRICANE.
DATA DEVOURER: You'll dissect analytics with the hunger of a starving wolf. You'll identify trends, exploit weaknesses in the market, and use data as your weapon to ENGINEER EXPLOSIVE GROWTH.
BRAND BRUTE: You'll embody our brand's unapologetic identity. You'll communicate with a voice that's sharp, memorable, and cuts through the endless digital drivel.
Consider Yourself Warned
SHOW US THE GROWTH. Vague claims and fluffy buzzwords will be met with swift and decisive deletion. Your application must demonstrate a VERIFIABLE HISTORY OF SIGNIFICANT COMPANY GROWTH directly attributable to your skills.
STAND OUT OR GET STOMPED. We're drowning in a sea of sameness. If your application blends in like wallpaper, it's going straight to the digital shredder. Surprise us. Shock us. MAKE US REMEMBER YOU. If you don't grab our attention like a rabid badger in a tutu, you're invisible.
The Spoils Of War (If You Survive)
The opportunity to REVOLUTIONIZE OUR GROWTH TRAJECTORY.
A battlefield where your killer instincts will be celebrated (and rewarded).
A team that understands the only good metric is one that's trending upwards… sharply.
The satisfaction of watching our competitors weep
Your Trial By Fire
Prove you're not just another marketing pretender. Send us a BLAZINGLY UNIQUE APPLICATION that showcases your proven track record of growth. Include specific examples, quantifiable results, and a clear demonstration of why you are the GROWTH GURU we desperately need.
FAILURE TO IMPRESS WILL RESULT IN IMMEDIATE AND UNCEREMONIOUS DELETION. You've been warned. Now, show us what you're made of.
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