How to deal with selfish co-workers

It’s always frustrating to encounter toxic coworkers who only think about themselves. Whether you’re dealing with a colleague who takes credit for team projects, doesn’t pull their weight, or monopolizes resources, the result is likely the same—morale and productivity are down. However, understanding how to deal with selfish coworkers can help create a more cooperative workplace environment.

In this guide, we will cover:

• Why some employees are selfish in the workplace

• 5 signs of selfish behavior in the workplace

• How to deal with selfish work colleagues: tips and examples

• When to escalate the issue

Why some employees are selfish in the workplace

Living life with other coworkers isn’t always easy. While some of those we work with may be great, other coworkers may be annoying. Employees who are selfish in the workplace definitely fall into the latter category.

But, why are other employees sometimes selfish? What drives these behaviors? Before you learn how to deal with selfish coworkers, get some answers to these questions. 

Here are some of the five reasons someone may be selfish at work:

• Competition. People tend to be selfish when they are vying for promotions and raises over other employees. Likewise, they may also become more selfish when they are insecure or lack confidence in their abilities.

• Unintentional. Not all coworkers are selfish on purpose. Some may not realize they are impacting others they work with or may not understand the needs of their coworkers.

• Culture. Sometimes, it’s the workplace culture itself that causes employees to become selfish. This is especially true in highly competitive environments and places of employment where there is a lack of effective management.

• Stress. Personal stress, burnout, a lack of work-life balance, and other personal problems can also lead someone to become more self-centered at work.

• Personality. Some people are naturally wired to be selfish. Others may have developed the habit based on negative experiences where they were taken advantage of in other jobs.

5 Signs of selfish behavior in the workplace

Selfish behavior is often easy to identify. It can take many forms, both subtle and obvious. If you aren’t sure if you are dealing with selfishness, here are some of the signs to watch out for:

1. Reluctance to help

Not only do selfish coworkers avoid helping others, they may completely ignore requests for help. Selfish employees tend to prioritize their tasks over the team’s needs, even when they can help. 

2. Hoarding information

Selfish coworkers keep information to themselves, and that includes information about opportunities, projects, meetings, and training. They also take over the use of shared tools and supplies, use time disproportionately, and avoid efficient collaboration.

3. Responsibility avoidance

When something bad happens, a selfish coworker will often blame someone else. They won’t own up to any of their mistakes but will call others out for theirs. On the other hand, when something good happens, they will be the first to take credit.

4. Taking advantage of others

When one coworker is willing to help, a selfish employee will take advantage of that by unfairly delegating tasks and never offering to help in return. They love to benefit from the work others are doing without equally contributing.

5. Boundary violations

Frequent interruptions, demanding immediate attention from others, taking over tasks that aren’t theirs, and disregarding other colleagues' schedules are all signs of a selfish coworker. 

How to deal with selfish work colleagues: tips and tricks

For a productive and collaborative work environment, selfish behaviors can be detrimental. To address them, it takes a combination of clear communication, immovable boundaries, and a culture of respect and cooperation. Developing some strategies to combat these behaviors goes a long way. 

Here are five tips that can help:

1. Set clear expectations

When dealing with a coworker who doesn’t want to help with tasks, communicate directly and constructively. Make sure every member of the team understands their roles and responsibilities. Also, define team goals, emphasize what each person can do to achieve those collective goals, and set clear expectations regarding collaboration and support.

2. Discuss the issue privately

Being direct and private works especially well when a coworker is hoarding information. During the conversation, stay non-confrontational and keep the focus on their behavior and how it affects the team or project. You can also combat this by fostering a team culture where open communication and information sharing are the norm.

3. Encourage ownership

Emphasize the importance of taking ownership of tasks to ensure others are holding themselves accountable. Remember, sometimes they may avoid responsibility due to a lack of skills or confidence. Ensuring support and feedback are readily available for those who need it can help in these situations.

4. Be assertive and set boundaries

To avoid being taken advantage of by a coworker, always be clear about what you can and cannot do. Be polite when you decline requests that fall outside of those boundaries. You should also advocate for the fair distribution of responsibilities, balanced workloads, and defined project task assignments.

5. Be consistent when enforcing boundaries

Whenever a coworker breaks one of your boundaries, remain polite but firm. Be consistent and clearly communicate your boundaries. Above all, remain calm and respectful throughout the conversation, document issues as they come up, and promote a respectful work environment by adhering to your coworker’s boundaries too.

When to escalate the issue

Navigating a tricky work environment where you regularly deal with a selfish coworker is never easy. That’s why taking the proper steps to combat this type of coworker is so important. However, there also comes a time when you may need to get upper management or human resources involved in the situation.

Here are some examples of times when you should speak to HR or upper management about the problem with your coworker:

• Harassment and hostile behavior. No coworker has the right to become hostile or harass other employees. Anytime a person’s actions are intimidating or offensive, upper management and HR should become involved.

• Work policy violations. Likewise, HR needs to get involved when a coworker is breaking policies involving discrimination, confidentiality breaches, and other legal violations.

• Safety issues. If a coworker’s behavior creates safety concerns, such as risks to your emotional or physical safety, upper management needs to get involved immediately.

When you do speak to your manager or human resources department about a selfish employee, focus on resolving the problem. Before your meeting, document the issue, gather evidence, and seek advice from a trusted mentor. Your goal should be to speak clearly, communicate the nature of the issue and its impact, and come up with steps that can address the situation internally.

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Key takeaways

1. Selfish behavior in the workplace can stem from various factors, such as competition, cultural influences, personal stress, and personality traits.

2. Some signs of a selfish coworker could be a reluctance to help, hoarding information, avoiding responsibility, and taking advantage of others.

3. To combat a selfish employee’s behaviors, address issues privately and directly, assert boundaries, and learn when to escalate to HR or upper management.